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Horse Racing Quotations

A handicapper being a character who can dope out from the form what horses ought to win the races, and as long as his figures turn out all right, a handicapper is spoken of most respectfully by one and all, although of course when he begins missing out for any length of time as handicappers are bound to do, he is no longer spoken of respectfully, or even as a handicapper. He is spoken of as a bum.
Damon Runyon All Hone Players Die Broke .
A horse doesn't know whether the rider on his back wears a dress or pants away from the track.
Diane Crump
Calling home a close finish - And the judge has called for a photo, appropriately for the Bonusprint Sirenia Stakes.
Graham Goode, Channel 4 TV (1995)
How amusing racing would be if it were not for the horses. They take people's minds off conversation.
Viscount Castlerosse Sunday Express
I have stood in a bar in Lambourn and been offered, in the space of five minutes, a poached salmon, a leg of a horse, a free trip to Chantilly, marriage, a large unsolicited loan, ten tips for a ten-horse race, two second-hand cars, a fight, and the copyright to a dying jockey's life story.
Jeffrey Bernard (1979)
I see no particular objection to giving women a chance to ride in races now and again ... such races should be on the Flat and be placed last on the card so that those racegoers not interested can return home for tea and Magic Roundabout.
Roger Mortimer
If some horses merit Timeform's dreaded double squiggle for terrible performances what about the men responsible for The Mr Chris Real Dairy Cream Cake Handicap Hurdle?
Monty Court The Weekender (1986)
If you want to understand the effect of weight on a horse, try running for a bus with nothing in your hands. Then try doing it with your hands full of shopping. Then think about doing that for four and a half miles.
Jenny Pitman (1985)
Instead of a month's jail someone should be sentenced to reading The Sporting Life on non-racing days.
Lord Wigg (1959)
On trainer Peter Chisman - He didn't drink me under the table, he drank me under the Grandstand.
Jeffrey Bernard (1979)
On why horse racing is easier to cover for a sports journalist - You never have to run after the winner, asking him for a few words.
Earl Wilson
The lower classes are such fools. They waste their money on the pools. I bet, of course, but that's misleading. One must encourage bloodstock breeding.
Bernard Fergusson
To amateur jockey Jim Old- If Jesus Christ rode his flaming donkey like you just rode that horse, then he deserved to be crucified.
Fred Rimell
Trainers by nature are seldom savers. Eat, drink and be merry - tomorrow we're bankrupt.
Ivor Herbert (1980)
Women jockeys are a pain. Jumping's a man's game. They are not built like us. Most of them are as strong as half a disprin.
Steve Smith-Eccles (1988) - quotes, quotations and bloopers from the world of sport

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