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Quotations about playing Golf

A dedicated golfer can be said to be a divotee.
Charles McGee Jr.
A golf shot entails merely hitting a half-volley straight back to the bowler without giving a catch.
Henry Longhurst
According to locker-room lore, the name golf arose by default - all the other four-letter words had already been taken.
George Pepper
Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game.
Burt Shotten
Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at either.
Jimmy Demaret
Golf is a game of expletives not deleted.
Irving Gladstone
Golf is a game to be played between cricket and death.
Colin Ingleby-McKenzie
Golf is a lot like taxes - you drive hard to get to the green and wind up in the hole.
Golf is an ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose.
Sir Winston Churchill
Golf is too slow a game for Canada. We would go to sleep over it.
John B. McLenan (1891)
Golfing vacations are tee leaves.
Raymond J. Cvikota
I have one fault when I play golf, I really admit it. I find I'm too close to the ball -I mean after I hit it!
Maurice Settler
I would rather play Hamlet on Broadway with no rehearsal rather than play TV golf.
Jack Lemmon
If I had my way the social status of professional golfers would be one notch below that of Nazi war criminals.
Andy Lyons Melody Maker (1988)
In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the centre-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base.
Ken Harrelson
Katsuyoshi Tomori plays golf like Willie Nelson sings. You don't think he can do it but he goes and does it quite well.
Peter Mils, BBC TV (1995)
On subscribing a shilling to W. G. Grace's testimonial - It's not in support of cricket, but as an earnest protest against golf.
Sir Max Beerbohm
Show me a man who is a good loser and I'll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.
Nebraska Smoke-Eater
Soccer is a simple-minded game for simple people; golf is merely an expensive way of leaving home.
Michael Parkinson Bars in the Pavilion (1977)
The average golfer doesn't play golf. He attacks it.
Jackie Burke
The difference between learning to play golf and learning to drive a car is that in golf you never hit anything.
The fun you get from golf is in direct ratio to the effort you don't put into it.
Bob Aden (1950)
There is one thing in this world that is dumber than playing golf. That is watching someone else play golf. What do you actually get to see? Thirty-seven guys in polyester slacks squinting at the sun. Doesn't that set your blood racing?
Peter Andrews
To improve my golf, I once read one of those great involved books on positive thinking. I gave up when I heard the author had committed suicide.
Nick Job (1982)
When you are too old to chase other things, you can always chase golf balls.
Your financial cost of playing golf can best be figured out when you realise if you were to devote the same time and energy to business instead of golf, you would be a millionaire in approximately six weeks.
Buddy Hackett - quotes, quotations and bloopers from the world of sport

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