| American football is not so much a sport, but a way of strife. It might best be described as rugby league with knobs on, or feinting by numbers.
| American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party.
Sue Lawley (1985)
| College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture.
| Football is not a contact sport. It's a collision sport. Dancing is a good example of a contact sport.
Duffy Daugherty (1967)
| Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen. Soccer is a gentleman's game played by beasts. Football is a beastly game played by beasts.
| The game of football is played all over the world. In some countries, such a game may be called a soccer match. In others, a revolution. However, there are several differences between a football game and a revolution. For one thing, a football game usually lasts longer and the participants wear uniforms. Also, there are usually more casualties in a football game. The object of the game is to move a ball past the other team's goal line. This counts as six points. No points are given for lacerations, contusions, or abrasions, but then no points are deducted either. Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the football, occasionally.
|You have to play this game like somebody just hit your mother with a two-by-four.
| You've got a goal in life. I've got a goal. Now all we need is a football team.