| Dick Butkus was like Moby Dick in a goldfish bowl.
| If me and King Kong went into an alley, only one of us would come out. And it wouldn't be the monkey.
| It has been my experience that the fastest man on the football field is the quarterback who has just been intercepted.
| On owning the San Diego Chargers and a major hotel chain - I don't know the difference between a three-point field goal and a 3 p.m. check-out time.
| On wide receiver Anthony Carter- I've never seen such skinny legs on a football player before. I wonder if they ever caught the rustler who stole his calves?
| Playing middle linebacker is like walking through a lion's cage dressed in a three-piece pork-chop suit.
| Terry Bradshaw couldn't spell cat, if you spotted him the 'C' and the 'A'.
Thomas 'Hollywood' Henderson
| When Larry Csonka goes on safari, the lions roll up their windows.