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Cricket Quotations and Quotes

A Yorkshire cricketer is one born within the sound of Bill Bowes.
Michael Carey
Being the manager of a touring team is rather like being in charge of a cemetery - lots of people underneath you, but no one listening.
Wes Hall (1995)
Bombshell: the exclusion of a cricketer from a team.
J. B. Morton [Beachcomber]
Colin Milburn is as untidy as an unmade bed, as devastating as a hand grenade.
Clive Taylor
Cricket is a tough and terrible rough unscrupulous game. No wonder our American friends do not like it.
A. P. Herbert in a speech at Surrey County Cricket Club dinner
Dr W.G. Grace, Had hair all over his face. Lord! How all the people cheered. When a ball got lost in his beard.
E. C. Bentley
England and America should scrap cricket and baseball and come up with a new game that they both can play. Like baseball, for example.
Robert Benchley
English crowds are like sherry. West Indian crowds are like rum. Australian crowds are like Foster's.
Peter Roebuck Tangled up in White (1990)
He played his cricket on the heath. The pitch was full of bumps. A fast ball hit him on the teeth, The dentist drew the stumps.
How to cure a cricketer's red nose - drink till it's purple.
J.B. Morton [Beachcomber] Daily Expnss
I am not my brother's wicket-keeper.
Clyde Packer (1977)
I have always imagined cricket as a game invented by roughnecks in a moment of idleness by casually throwing an unexploded bomb at one another. The game was observed by some officer with a twisted and ingenious mind who devoted his life to inventing impossible rules for it.
Peter Ustinov
I have seen cricket, and I know it isn't true.
Danny Kaye
If my mother hadn't thrown my football boots on the fire, I might have become as famous as Denis Compton.
Sir Len Hutton
If you imagine Clive Lloyd as being small, white, and right-handed, then you've got Gilbert Jessop.
It's a marvellous thing to play for England. You get a few quid, it's nice for the family, and you wear three lions on your chest.
Derek Randall
John Jameson is expressionless and big. Big in the way they used to describe barrel chested; which means that he looks as if he is permanently holding his breath.
Clive Taylor
LE.G.Ames Was good at games But when batting at cricket He was always LEG. before wicket.
James Moss
Novelty is the one quality required for Christmas games ... If a game is novel it is enough. To the manager of a toy department the continued vogue of cricket must be very bewildering.
A. A. Milne
Oh God! If there be cricket in heaven let there also be rain.
Alec Douglas-Home
On Michael Angelow's £20 bet during the England-West Indies Test at Lord's -... and a freaker, we've got a freaker down the wicket now. Not very shapely, and it's masculine.
John Arlott, BBC Radio 3 (1973)
On the sacking of Viv Richards and Joel Garner- The Somerset County Cricket Club committee is to fair play what Colonel Gaddafi is to air safety.
Jan Foley (1986)
On the suggestion that Test pitches had been deliberately prepared to suit England- It is the prerogative of the home country to prepare the type of pitch they want. We will play them in the car park if that is what they want.
Wes Hall (1995)
On traditional cricket teas - We used to eat so many salads, there was a danger of contracting myxomatosis.
Ray East
On World Series Cricket- Kerry Packer's Flying Circus.
Tony Lewis (1979)
Seeing Trevor Bailey prepare for a session in the field was like a lecture in anatomy.
Ray East
The mere mention of the words 'village' and 'cricket' conjures up a sepia-toned rustic idyll, full of burly blacksmiths and wily off-spinning parsons and chaps called Jack with pipes/who always score a hundred in even time but never hit across the line.
Marcus Berkmann Rain Men (1995)
The only time an Australian walks is when his car runs out of petrol.
Barry Richards (1980)
The Oval, Canterbury, Brighton and Fenner's always produced good wickets; but Lord's was terribly bad, and it was said that the only respect in which the pitch resembled a billiard table was the pockets.
Harry A Kham A History of Cricket (1926)
The wicket reminded me of a middle-aged gentleman's head of hair when the middle-aged gentleman, to conceal the baldness of his crown, applies a pair of wet brushes to some favourite long locks and brushes them across the top of his head.
Fred Gale (1868)
There should have been a last line of defence during the war. It would have been made up entirely of the most officious breed of cricket stewards. If Hitler had tried to invade these shores he would have been met by a short, stout man in a white coat who would have said, 'I don't care who you are, you're not coming in here unless you are a member!'
Ray East (1983)
There was a young fresher called Gilbert Jessop Who was pitching it less up and less up. Till one of the pros, Got a blow on the nose. And said 'Inside a helmet I'll dress up'.
Anon Cambridge student
Villagers do not think village cricket is funny.
John Arlott (1981)
Watching cricket is habit farming, it can become habitual. It's a kind of long-lasting white-robed ritual. And until recently it's been a male prerogative, Played by big hairy bowlers and blacksmiths who were slogative.
Gavin Ewart
When asked what he thought of the First Test- What are they testing?
George Bernard Shaw
You're regarded as a soft guy in Holland if you play cricket. They think it's all eating lunch and tea, and pretty boring.
Andre van Troost (1993) - quotes, quotations and bloopers from the world of sport

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