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Funny, humorous and witty boxing quotes

After his heavy defeat by Matthew Saad Muhammad - I'm going down so often these days you'd think I was making a blue movie.
John Conteh (1980)
Answering the fight doctor during his title bout against Jose Torres - You're damn right I know where I am! I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the sh*t kicked out of me.
Willie Pastrano
At the weigh-in for the big fight tomorrow, Goliath tipped the scales at 15 stone 3 pounds, and David at 14 stone three pounds. David's manager said this evening, 'The odd stone could make all the difference.'
John Cleese I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again
Baroness Summerskill: Mr Cooper, have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?
Henry Cooper: Well, madam, have you looked in the mirror and seen the state of your nose? Boxing is my excuse. What's yours?
Boxing is a great exercise ... as long as you can yell 'cut' whenever you want to.
Sylvester Stallone
Ex-boxer battered outside chip shop
Gloucestershire Echo (1979)
Give the average Briton the choice between a warm turn-up with the gloves and the best of gymnastic displays, and he will generally choose the former.
P. G.Wodehouse (1901)
I don't mind the title fight going out at three in the morning. Everyone in Glasgow fights at three in the morning.
Jim Wan (1980)
I was six foot one inch when I started fighting, but with all the uppercuts I'm up to six foot five inches.
Chuck Wepner
I'm always into a positive black image. Whenever Leon Spinks fights I always pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let them interview Leon on TV.'
Arsenic Hall
It's strange ... two guys in shorts competing for a belt. They should, at least, award them slacks or a shirt.
Jerry Seinfeld Seinlanguage (1993)
Jumbo Cummings - a name that sounds like an elephant ejaculating.
Rory McGrath They Think It's All Over BBC TV (1995)
Las Vegas is the oasis of outstretched palms.
Reg Gutteridge
On hitting a shaken opponent - His legs turned to spaghetti and I was all over him like the sauce.
Vinnie Pazienza
On promoting a fight in South America -Venezuela! Great, that's the Italian city with the guys in the boats, right?
Mured Muhammad (1992)
Since I've retired, I eat less, weigh less, train less and care less.
Ray Mancini
Sugar Ray Leonard's retirements last about as long as Elizabeth Taylor's marriages.
Bob Arum (1987)
The dumbest question I was ever asked by a sportswriter was whether I hit harder with red or white gloves. As a matter of fact, I hit harder with red.
Frank Crawford
They call Ray Robinson the best fighter, pound for pound. I'm the best fighter, ounce for ounce.
Willie Pep
You always say, 'I'll quit when I start to slide.' Then, one morning, you wake up and you've slid.
Sugar Ray Robinson - quotes, quotations and bloopers from the world of sport

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