- quotes, quotations and bloopers from the world of sport
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Funny Basketball Quotations

Basketball has so much showboating you'd think it was invented by Jerome Kern.
Art Spander
Basketball, a game which won't be fit for people until they set the basket umbilicus-high and return the giraffes to the zoo.
Ogden Nash
I believe in higher education. You know, 6'8", 6'9", 6'10"
David Games
If cocaine were helium, the NBA would float away.
Art Rust
I'm in favour of drug tests, just so long as they are multiple choice.
Kurt Rambis
In basketball, the first person to touch the ball shoots it. Either that or the coach carefully diagrams a set play and then the first player to touch it shoots it.
Gene Klein
Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June, for reasons that I found unexplainable, other than the fact that they were overly fascinated with soaring armpits.
Dan Jenkins You Call It Sports... (1989)
On females officiating in the NBA -Incompetence should not be confined to one sex.
Bill Russell (1976)
On his academic aspirations - The only way I can make five As is when I sign my name.
Alaa Adbehuby
On his Washington State college team - Fans never fall asleep at our games because they're afraid they might get hit with a pass.
Gaorge Raveling
On how to make the game more exciting - Eliminate the referees, raise the basket four feet, double the size of the basketball, limit the height of the players to 5 feet 9 inches, bring back the centre jump, allow taxi drivers in for free and allow the players to carry guns.
Al McGuire
Part of the charm of basketball lies in the fact that it's a simple game to understand. Players race up and down a fairly small area indoors and stuff the ball into a ring with Madonna's dress hanging on it.
Dan Jenkins You Call It Sports... (1989)
The game is too long, the season is too long and the players are too long.
Jack Dolph (1973)
The trouble with officials is they just don't care who wins.
Tommy Canterbury
This is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the other one shouldn't have spectators.
Dick Vertlieb
You can say something to popes, kings and presidents, but you can't talk to officials. In the next war they ought to give everyone a whistle.
Abe Lemmons (1977) - quotes, quotations and bloopers from the world of sport

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